Nine Ways To Make This Holiday Season The Highlight Of Your Year
There are a couple of “dad rules” at my house that are challenged each November. Okay… MOST of my dad rules get contested through the year.
The ones I’m referring to in this instance are: No Christmas decorations should be put up or Christmas music played until after Thanksgiving. My official reasoning is that Thanksgiving is such an important time to reflect on how blessed we are as individuals, families, and as a nation. And that’s true.
There are also some other, even more personal reasons that I don’t want to shift so quickly to thinking about Christmas and New Years. They include:
I don’t like seeing others feeling so frazzled during what should be such a festive and meaningful time of year
The season reminds me to reflect on the year that has past, and there are always so many things I haven’t accomplished at work, relationships I haven’t nurtured like I should, or things I didn’t do to improve myself
I struggle with giving the right gifts to family and friends (thankfully my wonderful wife does have that sixth sense)
There is one other explanation for my sometimes “scroogey” attitude. I simply don’t plan enough for how to make this season as meaningful as it can be. I just expect to flip that “holiday switch” in my mind and everything will fall into place. Thankfully, as I have gotten older I don’t leave as much to chance during the holidays. I’m getting better at putting in the head and heart work to make sure I don’t squander these precious moments.
One of the things that has helped me the most is to keep a list of mental reminders about this season. I call them guardrails to ensure that I don’t wreck my holidays because of my own shortsighted or selfish thinking. I share them not with the idea that you should do what I do, but rather to help you stop and reflect on what you can do to create a more meaningful holiday season for yourself… and ultimately for those with whom you work and live.
1) Plan ahead: Too often I reason that I’ll think about the holidays once work slows down. And it never happens. I now invest a little time each day reflecting on how I want to celebrate the holidays while still working, and how I want my days to look when I’m not working.
2) Make “me” a priority: As an Enneagram 2 I invest so much time and energy making sure others needs are taken care of and denying my own. Ironically, it’s only when I address my own needs that I can best take care of those around me. I intentionally plan one thing just for me every day during the holidays, and tell my family so they will hold me accountable (they probably need a little time away from me anyway).
3) Focus on experiences, not things: When planning time with others, I ask myself, “What would make our time together most meaningful?” For some it’s a deep conversation over really good coffee. For others it is sharing a meal. It might be a walk or visiting a mutual friend together. Regardless of the activity, I strive to show up with the best present I know I can offer in the moment… the gift of presence. Not being distracted by other things or obsessing because the moment isn’t as perfect as it could be. The key word for me is meaningful, not perfect.
4) Practice gratitude: It’s already a habit for me to list three things I’m grateful for each morning. During the holidays I try to take that to the next level. I strive to keep an attitude of gratitude as I go through my day. I also try to be more intentional about telling others why I am grateful for their presence in my work or life.
5) Focus on the reason for the season for me. I found the source of my “why” in a relationship with Jesus Christ, and remembering that Christmas is a celebration of His birth gives me a sense of joy that can help guide me to making the best choices during this special time of year. Even if that’s not part of your belief system, ask yourself, “What makes this season meaningful to me?” and “Am I making choices in alignment with those beliefs?”
6) Be mindful about those who struggle during this season: One of the hardest things for me has been experiencing my first Christmases without my mom or my dad. I strive to reach out to those who are going through similar “firsts.” I also think about those who are in a season of pain, challenge, or adversity. I have found that you don’t have to say something profound or try and cheer them up. Simply letting them know they were on your mind or heart means the world to them.
7) Limit social media: For me, I want to be fully immersed in the moment, whether that’s time with family, friends, or even when I am alone. In those moments I sometimes find myself thinking, “That would be great to put on IG, FB, or LI.” And then I’m taken out of the moment. If I feel the urge to scroll through social media, it’s usually because I didn’t plan well enough for how I wanted to spend my time. This works for me. I don’t expect everyone to take the same approach.
8) Celebrate traditions: Traditions give me a sense of belonging and comfort. We have our standard ones like reading the Christmas story when everyone is home, watching The Polar Express on Christmas Eve, and baking different things. I also like starting new traditions. Since Lisa and I are “empty nesters” we are trying to watch one Hallmark Christmas movie each night. We’ll see how that works out…
9) Create space for reflection: In the week between Christmas and New Years Day I invest time thinking about the past year and forcing myself to celebrate my successes in “all three rings.” I also set aside time each day just to “be." No phone or laptop. No book to read. I usually head for a chair in our sun room or my favorite chair in the living room where I can look at the Christmas tree. I might take a short walk. My goal is to have a sense of wonder and wander. To appreciate all that life has had to offer in the past year and to get excited about all that is possible in the year ahead.
I can promise you that I don’t always do every one of these things. But I do know that when I practice many of them, the first week of January finds me often saying, “I can’t wait to see what this year’s Christmas season will bring.” And I even break that rule about Christmas music from time to time. 😉
I wish for you the most meaningful Christmas season and a year ahead filled with all that brings you joy in your work and life.
