Give Yourself Permission To Grow - Four Mindset Changes For Improved Focus

When I mention the word, “focus” in my time management keynotes, I’m often amazed at how many people start nodding their heads.  It’s incredible how many people can instantly relate.  We’ve all become so distracted in our workplace and in our lives.  We’ve got so much going on that our focal point becomes blurred between the past and the future, technology, the environment, people around us, and so on, that it’s a wonder we ever get anything done.

It doesn’t have to be this way. 

From where I stand, there are four permissions you are going to have to give yourself in order to fully focus on whatever may be happening right in front of you. 

Permission To Forget

The first permission is the permission to forget.

An example scenario:  You’re in a meeting.  Important topics are being discussed and there are definite actions that need to be taken on your part.  You spend the meeting making mental notes and once it’s over you head toward your desk but run into a co-worker who has a challenge they need your help with.  When you make it to your desk, you sit down and sift through important vs non-important emails.  Don’t forget the notifications on your cell!  You tell yourself that after lunch, you’ll get to the points of the morning’s meeting. 

But, you’ve forgotten them or at the very least, digesting your turkey sandwich and recalling what your mental notes from the meeting were, are becoming hazy.  The hours of the second half of your day are already closing in and the struggle is on.

If only you had allowed yourself the permission to forget all the things you’re thinking about that you need to get done; permission to forget about what happened in that meeting or the conversation from earlier.  You may be thinking, “That sounds great but there’s some important stuff in there I need to remember! Plus, that sounds counterproductive.” And you would be right.  Which leads to Permission 2.

Permission to STOP

The second permission is to STOP.  Give yourself permission to stop, such as right after that meeting, to capture a few thoughts in a trusted source. David Allen, author of Getting Things Done, would emphasize the importance of writing things down where you can easily access it later.  Stealing a “selfishly” brief moment to pause and write things down, gives your brain permission to forget (first permission) and frees up important mental RAM space.  This practice also helps you avoid the dreaded question of, “What was I thinking about earlier?”

You must use your mind to get things off your mind.
― David Allen

Permission To Clear The Air

A third permission to give yourself is permission to clear the air.  While that may sound like a negative term, what I mean is when you finish a task, clear the air by asking things like, “What did I accomplish?  What are the other things I need to accomplish in relation to that?” 

Even if you just had a conversation with someone or you’re getting ready to have one, giving yourself a minute, or five minutes just to get your thoughts together will help you be fully present with that other person.

Permission To Celebrate

The fourth permission to give yourself, especially if you’re doing the other three, is to give yourself permission to celebrate!  Take a moment to think about how good it feels when you pick up your task list or you look at something on your phone or another device and you can say, “Wow.  I wrote that down.  And now I’m crossing it out!  Wonderful!”  Or when you finish a conversation with someone and you know that you were a Level 3 listener.  You were completely dialed in with them and you had greater impact on them because you were paying full attention to every word that they said and the meaning behind the words.  Give yourself permission to celebrate those things. 

 “You have to be intentional about celebrating your harvest moments…” - Jones Loflin, Always Growing

It takes time to develop a new skill or discipline. But if you give yourself permission to fail a time or two, with practice, you can improve your ability to focus and feel more in control of your day.