If you’re like most, the holidays can be a blur and we don’t make the best choices with our time. We leave the season feeling frustrated and less than fulfilled. But what if this year, you could transform that chaos into a season of joy and connection? I have a 4-C framework to help you make your holidays more meaningful and memorable. It involves: Calories, Conversations, Commitment and Chill.

A recent journal prompt got me to thinking, “What are some of the things in my life that I should be grateful for that aren’t obvious and that I often forget?” 

The obvious ones are, health and family, friendships and career.  But what are those more subtle things that have molded and shaped me that seldom come to the forefront of my mind when I think about gratitude?

As I reflected on it more, three came to mind.

I believe that making the best choices with our time starts with making those choices in alignment with our values.

As I say that, you’re likely to begin compiling a list of the values you hold dear. You probably have a bunch of them. I thought I had a comprehensive set of values too, until I started reading Brené Brown's book, Dare to Lead. (Great book! You need to go and get a copy!)

In her book, Brené proposes that we typically operate from just two core values. Brené’s definition of a value is:

“A value is a way of being or believing that we hold most important.”

Brené makes it a point that identifying just two values can significantly enhance our effectiveness as individuals and leaders.

“Preposterous!” I thought at first. “Surely, I must have more than two values to lead a fulfilling life.”

However, Brené is an esteemed researcher with profound ideas, so I decided to do her exercise. I downloaded her list of values and spent time reflecting on it. I began circling some values while marking others out, realizing that some were indeed variations of the same fundamental principle.

Recently, while driving through North Dakota on a crisp fall evening, I found myself surrounded by the sights and sounds of harvest. Combines and trucks moved through golden cornfields, reaping the season's bounty. I imagined the farmers, exhausted but satisfied, reflecting on the season’s challenges and triumphs, and maybe already planning for the next year.

As leaders, we also experience seasons of harvest—those times when projects are completed, goals are hit, or tough challenges are overcome. But unlike the farmers who spend time thinking, evaluating, and preparing for the next season, too many leaders rush forward without pausing to reflect on the bigger picture. They jump to the next task, holding a lukewarm celebration at best, and miss the powerful opportunity that comes with these moments of success.

What would your child say about your work efforts to “get it all done”? 

Ouch! That’s a question that’s hard to confront. In our busy, overloaded lives, we often feel as if we’re doing the right thing by taking on so much, working to get ahead.  We’re doing it for them right?  But what does it look like from your child or your loved one’s perspective?

Several years ago I confronted this in my own life. I was inspired by the story of a man named Mohamed El-Erian.  He was a man who seemed to have it all. As CEO of the investment firm, Pimco, he made millions of dollars per year (100 million actually).

Asking for help. 

Is that something you’re comfortable with or does the thought of it, even just seeing those 3 little words strung together, make you feel uncomfortable or even anxious? What is it that makes it so hard for so many of us to ask?  

Each January I head to the freezer in my basement and pull out a worn cardboard box. There are jars, envelopes, and bags filled with all kinds of seeds. Some are remnants of seeds purchased at a store in the past while others are seeds I have saved from my own plants.

As I shuffle through the various containers, I ask myself, “What do I want to grow this year?”

The same is true for leaders...

As a leadership keynote speaker, I've encountered countless professionals struggling with procrastination. We've all been there – staring at a mountain of "should-do" tasks while our minds wander to more enticing activities. But what if I told you there's a way to turn those dreaded tasks into something you actually look forward to? Enter the world of temptation bundling, a clever productivity hack that might just revolutionize your to-do list.

I recently finished a coaching session and at the end I asked the client, “What was most helpful about today?”  Their response was, “I got to talk about it.” 

So often when we’re experiencing work life overload, the last thing we want to do is to talk about it.  We tend to internalize our struggles, believing we must find all the solutions within ourselves. This approach is not only unhealthy but also counterproductive. Holding in feelings of being overwhelmed or stressed can exacerbate the situation, preventing us from discovering potential solutions or gaining new perspectives from others.

In my last post, I discussed the concept of "stress bragging" - that tendency to boast about our stress levels as a way to highlight our productivity and importance. I touched on ways to curb this habit in ourselves, but what about when others do it? Here are some effective strategies for handling stress bragging from friends, colleagues, or acquaintances.

Have you made any of these statements lately?

“I have so much going on. I hardly have time to breathe.”

“I’m working on just a few hours of sleep. I just have so much going on.”

“I haven’t had anything to eat all day. My schedule is just so packed.”

“I haven’t had a day off in, I don’t know when. It’s just nonstop.”

“I have so many projects I’m juggling right now. It’s just crazy how busy I am.”

If so, you might be engaging in what’s known as "stress bragging." But what exactly is stress bragging?

I was driving along listening to an audio book called Trust, by Dr. Henry Cloud. When the person reading the book made the comment, "Trustworthy leaders make their teams care Less," I about had to pull over. Hearing that made me question exactly what they were talking about. As I got to listen more to the person talk about the key ideas, the more I got to thinking about my own experiences and thought, "They're exactly right!" This counterintuitive notion of caring Less started to make sense when I considered the ways that trustworthy leaders enable their teams to focus on what truly matters.

I love gardening and growing fresh vegetables. Recently I had checked in on my Brussel sprout seedlings and well...they looked AWFUL! The reason quickly became obvious to me...I had overwatered them. I was so excited about growing Brussel sprouts this year, I didn't want anything to happen to the seedlings so I tended to micromanage and overwater them. It didn't help

I think the same is true when we try to micromanage our team members.

On a recent business trip, I was talking with a commercial pilot about the stresses they face and what they do to manage it. When I specifically asked about “mental wellness” they immediately said, “Oh you don’t talk about anything related to mental health. That will get you grounded in a heartbeat.” When I inquired further, they said, “You just tell them everything is good.”

As an airline passenger, I certainly want my pilot and co-pilot to be in a state of good mental health. I also know that they are human, and subject to good days and bad days. Thankfully, having two people in the cockpit minimizes the dangers if one of them is indeed NOT in a mental “good place.”

While the focus was the work of pilots, I believe it could have just as easily have been a conversation about almost any workplace. Don’t talk about anything related to mental health. Tell them everything is good.

Have you ever tried to motivate someone to change, like a coworker, team member, or family member? I’m willing to wager that your go-to strategy was to throw information at them, facts, knowledge, etc, because once they see the facts, you know they’ll see the need to change.

Didn’t turn out so well, did it?

Note: I received no help from AI in writing this blog. I didn’t want you to wonder…

I’m afraid of change. I’ll be the first to admit it. It’s been a speed bump for me in every area of my life. Relationships, work, my health. Pick something. It wasn’t until 2000 when my friend David Buck handed me a copy of Who Moved My Cheese? that I finally realized how my resistance to change, and to a larger degree, unwillingness to explore the unknown, was limiting my business success and personal happiness.

This year, I have committed to being a more curious gardener: to be willing to grow some things I haven’t grown before and see what happens. I decided to try and grow one of my favorite fruits, Papaya! I’ve heard that if I do certain things, give it the right soil conditions, and protect it from the cold winter temperatures, that even the tropical Papaya plant can grow here in North Carolina. So why not give it a try?

In the same way, curiosity is an important trait for leaders to have. Your curiosity doesn't just benefit you, it sets the stage for a more creative, empathetic, and resilient team.

When we talk about a lack of work life balance, or stress, or burnout, one of the things we are actually saying to ourselves is that we feel like we have no control over the outcome or over our future. It can feel like the line between work and life has blurred into one big, overwhelming blob.

It’s time for a reframe and it's called Intentional Inflexibility. See why it works.

I’ve come to believe that most people have given up on improving how they deal with their email. They have come to treat it like a trip to the dentist… a necessary evil. I also believe, however, that if you want to have greater impact in your work day, you MUST address the significant amount of time you are spending buried in a pile of messages. Depending on which study you read, employees spend about two hours per day on email.

Time blindness, also known as temporal disorientation, is a cognitive condition that affects one's ability to accurately perceive the passing of time and estimate how long tasks or activities will take. Although it is not considered a diagnosable medical condition, it poses challenges in terms of punctuality and planning. Individuals with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are particularly susceptible to experiencing time blindness as well as those who may be grieving, stressed or sleep-deprived.