The Power Of Asking For Help: 4 Strategies For Success

Asking for help. 

Is that something you’re comfortable with or does the thought of it, even just seeing those 3 little words strung together, make you feel uncomfortable or even anxious? What is it that makes it so hard for so many of us to ask?  

The Challenge of Asking for Help

The reluctance to ask for help can stem from various factors, including fear of rejection, concerns about appearing weak, or the belief that we should handle everything on our own.

Research indicates that these fears are not uncommon. A study published in the Harvard Business Review highlights that the social threats associated with asking for help can activate the same brain regions as physical pain, making the act feel particularly uncomfortable.

Regardless of your reason, however, understanding the barriers behind asking for help can significantly impact both your personal and professional lives. Here are 4 effective strategies to help you ask for help with confidence and clarity.    

Four Strategies for Asking for Help

1. Ask with Confidence

When you decide to ask for help, approach the request with confidence. Eliminate phrases that undermine your request, such as “I hate to bother you” or “I’m terrible at this.” Instead, frame your request positively: “I’m working on this and want to ensure it’s done well, which is why I’m reaching out to you.” This approach not only conveys your seriousness but also sets a collaborative tone for the conversation.

2. Recognize Their Expertise

When asking for help, it’s important to acknowledge the specific skills or knowledge that make the person you’re approaching the right choice. What is that person good at that’s causing you to come to them? For instance, you might say, “I know you have a lot of experience with this type of project, and I would really value your input.” This positive recognition reassures them that you respect their expertise and are not simply seeking help out of desperation.

3. Be Specific About Your Needs

Vague requests can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. Be specific with the help you need. Instead of asking, “Will you help me?”, be precise about what you need. For example, if you need assistance with a presentation, specify whether you’re looking for feedback on the content, design, or delivery. This clarity helps the person understand the nature of your request and reduces the likelihood of it becoming a lengthy or complicated process.

4. Share Your Efforts

Before asking for help, it can be beneficial to share what you’ve already done to address the issue. Let the other person see that you invested your own time in trying to figure it out before you came to them out of desperation to save them from certain doom!  This demonstrates your commitment and initiative. For instance, you might say, “I’ve tried several approaches to solve this problem, but I’m still stuck. I would appreciate your perspective on it.” This not only shows that you value their time but also reinforces the importance of the task at hand.

Bonus! Express Gratitude

Expressing gratitude, whether the other person was able to help you or not, is an essential part of learning to ask for help. Rather than tossing a simple, “Thanks” to someone, practice being more exact: “Thank you for your help with finding the resources I needed for the project! That made it so much easier!” As well, do not delay in expressing gratitude. When someone feels appreciated, they will be more likely to help you in the future.

A friend of mine named Eddie Colvin, shared a quote that his grandmother gave him that I still think is priceless:

For more great tips on practicing gratitude, check out my weekly Jones Zone.

The Benefits of Asking for Help

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is a vital skill that fosters collaboration and strengthens relationships. Studies show that people are generally willing to assist others when approached correctly. By employing these 4 strategies, you can transform the act of asking for help into an opportunity for growth and connection.

We are all wired to support one another. While it’s true that others may have their own commitments, presenting your request with confidence, recognition, specificity, and evidence of your efforts can significantly increase the likelihood of receiving the help you need.