What would your child say about your work efforts to “get it all done”? 

Ouch! That’s a question that’s hard to confront. In our busy, overloaded lives, we often feel as if we’re doing the right thing by taking on so much, working to get ahead.  We’re doing it for them right?  But what does it look like from your child or your loved one’s perspective?

Several years ago I confronted this in my own life. I was inspired by the story of a man named Mohamed El-Erian.  He was a man who seemed to have it all. As CEO of the investment firm, Pimco, he made millions of dollars per year (100 million actually).

When we talk about a lack of work life balance, or stress, or burnout, one of the things we are actually saying to ourselves is that we feel like we have no control over the outcome or over our future. It can feel like the line between work and life has blurred into one big, overwhelming blob.

It’s time for a reframe and it's called Intentional Inflexibility. See why it works.

There are a couple of “dad rules” at my house that are challenged each November. Okay… MOST of my dad rules get contested through the year.

The ones I’m referring to in this instance are: No Christmas decorations should be put up or Christmas music played until after Thanksgiving. My official reasoning is …

Think of the most frequent questions you ask yourself in the course of a week. I’ll bet they include:

What’s my password for ______________ (insert name of app or website)?

• What will we have for dinner?

• How will I ever get all this work done?

• When will I NOT be so busy?

I've been dabbling in AI (or ChatGPT as some of you may call it) for about eight months. I've used it to strengthen blog titles, make content more "punchy" and help me get some creative juices flowing.

By far my favorite thing to do with it, however, is to ask it to explain a complex topic to a five year old. From bias to creative avoidance it has given me a stronger foundation from which to share ideas with others.

Today, I found myself outside, indulging in one of my absolute favorite activities — picking blueberries. It’s a time when I can truly escape and become immersed in deep thoughts, self-reflection, and the invigorating sensation of breathing in fresh air. However, I must admit, there are moments when I can get carried away and lose track of time, neglecting other important tasks. As a result, I often find myself grappling with a sense of guilt afterwards.

I’ve been thinking a lot about delegation lately. This past weekend I had the opportunity to see effective delegation in action when my family and I went on a fly-fishing trip. “Tony” was an incredible guide who demonstrated to me that whether you are teaching someone how to fly fish or trying to help them understand a complex task in your organization, there are 5 key elements to remember.

Picture this: You’ve had a long day at work and looking forward to a relaxing evening. You start streaming an episode of your favorite series. Two hours later you’re still there, and now you’re frustrated that you didn’t use that time more effectively. It’s not that you wanted to do work tasks or take care of personal stuff... you just wanted more out of that precious time that would renew your body, mind, and soul.

I hold a picture of an event I attended some time ago which holds great meaning to me. The occasion was Frank and Dorcus' diamond wedding anniversary 💎 celebrating an incredible 60 years of marriage! To add to the celebration, Frank was also marking his 80th birthday 🎂 and the event was hosted by their children. Although there is so much to write about Frank and Dorcus's long-lasting marriage, I'd like to focus my comments on Frank, who has become one of my unknowing life coaches.

I don't know about you, but the workday after a holiday has always felt a little disjointed to me. On one hand we should be ready to take on the world after an extra day or two of rest from work, but on the other hand, I find myself longing for more of that personal or family time that I got during the day off. If I'm not careful, I can find myself meandering through my day and not getting anything of real value accomplished.

I love it when I hear or read something that challenges my current perspective. A few weeks ago I was truly shaken when James Clear, in his powerful book, Atomic Habits, wrote:

"You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems."

Last week was going to be different. Maybe you made the decision to start exercising, or to more effectively plan your day. You really wanted things to be different. You're tired of the constant pressure of trying to get everything done or feeling like there's something more important you should be doing with your time. Your new activities lasted about a week... and then you slipped quietly back into old habits and old ways of thinking.

One of the parts of speaking at a conference I find so interesting is interacting with the group before I speak. Whether it’s a networking event on the previous evening or just talking with participants who arrive early, I love to watch the reaction when I tell people what I do. When they ask me about what I “speak” on and I respond with “I help with the struggle of too much to do,” there’s almost always a conflicted response.

How many times in the past week have you said, “I only have ___________ minutes right now?”

Judging from my conversations with coaching clients and program participants, we are all saying it a lot more often. Not that it's a bad thing to be cognizant of how much time you have available. It's just that saying the phrase usually leads to choosing an easy-to-complete task (like checking email, social media, or some mindless activity) that really doesn't move your work or life forward in the most meaningful way.

How often do you spend some time in deep reflection about who you are and where you want to go? A time of sacred idleness when you let those deeper thoughts that have been suppressed by a crazy busy schedule bubble to the surface. Moments when you pay attention to your feelings, questions, frustrations, hopes, and dreams.

If you're like many people, your answer is "rarely."

It seems like there is always a desire to describe the essence of a concept, philosophy, movement, culture, or societal ill as succinctly as possible. In our sound-byte driven world, having just the right catchphrase for one of the afore-mentioned situations gets attention from others. “Knowledge worker,” “millennials,” “#metoo” and the “experience economy” are four that quickly come to mind.

Sometimes, however, these phrases don’t work as well.

One of the reasons for this lack of productivity is the sheer number of distractions and crises vying for our attention each day. These items keep us moving, but not necessarily in a forward direction. But might there be other circumstances causing us to feel so overwhelmed with all we have to do and underwhelmed at what we are actually getting done?

While sitting with my daughter Sydney at a recent violin lesson, I watched her struggle to get the rhythm right with one particular piece. Her teacher was so patient and helped her understand how the rhythm of the piece should be played by focusing on a few measures at a time. Then, when they played the whole piece together with different rhythms, it sounded amazing! (from a proud dad's perspective).

The experience reminded me of how important...

In my book, Juggling Elephants, Todd Musig and I outline how the best way to manage your work and life is like running a circus. A key tenet is that you have three "rings" in your life: A work ring, a relationship ring, and a self ring. The key to success, we believe, is to have quality activities in all three rings... not just one or two.

An interesting part of the training on the book is

I know, I know. No one likes ticks. I can't remember the last time I was sharing a meal with a friend and they said, "You know, I was just thinking about ticks." Like mosquitoes and the IRS, we want to avoid contact with them at all costs. However, if you work outside in the summer months in various parts of the country, staying alert to their potential presence on your clothes or skin is essential to maintaining good health.