One alternative to New Year's Resolutions I am seeing more this year is coming up with a word or words to guide your actions and decisions. The word should help clarify choices you make, and have the end result of improving some aspect of your professional or personal life.

This article is probably more of a manifesto to myself than anyone else. At year's end I so often find myself mentally stacking all the "happenings" of the current year into a corner and clearing my mind for all I want to accomplish in the coming year. It's much less painful than trying to sort through the ups and downs of the year and try to make sense of it all.

Yesterday, Alex (my older daughter) and I went to see The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies. It might seem like a strange activity for a 48 year old dad and his 19 year old daughter, but our "journey" with all things Middle Earth has been a truly memorable 10 year experience. It's also taught me much about how one can judge the quality of a day, year, or even a lifetime.

I have a bulletin board at the door of my office containing several items that would probably appear strange to you, but keep me focused. Some items come and go while others have a more permanent place. One is the memorial program for the recent funeral of a friend who unexpectedly died at 53. Another is an adorable "brochure" that one of my daughters created for me to use several years ago. One item that seems to always stay posted is a chart I picked up at a trade show many years ago that charts how financially valuable one's time is at work, based on 244, eight hour working days per year. Here's an example:

If you have flown on a commercial airline in the past year, you know how the experience falls somewhere between getting a flu shot and having your teeth cleaned at the dentist. Crowded flights, people bringing absurdly large bags on board, and just the push of loading and unloading the airplane have combined to lessen the enjoyment of traveling by air. The faces of those waiting to board the plane seem to say, "Let's just get this over with."

Already feeling stressed about the holidays and you still have turkey in your refrigerator? You're not alone. According to the American Psychological Association, up to 69% of us have greater levels of stress during this holiday season. The top stressors found in one study were a lack of time, a lack of money, and the stress to give and receive gifts. It seems that I more frequently hear people say, "I just want to get through the holidays." How sad. Regardless of your religion or spiritual beliefs, this upcoming holiday season offers the strongest opportunity to relax, reflect, and recharge.... if used correctly.

At the General Hugh Shelton Leadership Forum last week, an executive from Cisco Systems made an interesting comment. He said that we are in the season of expressing gratitude that begins with Veterans Day. He's right. I find myself having a stronger focus on being thankful during this time of year than any other. It also caused me to wonder how well we do in saying "Thanks" to others in the workplace. I was disappointed by what I found. Consider the following statistics from a study at Berkeley:

Whether you call it work life balance, work life blend, or just maintaining your sanity, we all seem to be in search of that elusive point in life when it seems that our work, relationships, and personal well being are in harmony. If this article were a commercial, this would be the point at which soothing music would begin, and some really happy-looking people would begin appearing on your screen. And then someone would promise to deliver what every other thing you have tried has failed to do... bring you a greater sense of balance.

My Uncle Jack was a rather unassuming man. He loved to fish, hunt, and watch the Dallas Cowboys on TV. I remember countless Sunday nights hanging out with his two children, and sharing a birthday cake with him on several occasions because we had the same birthday. He was a dedicated employee at Thomasville Furniture Industries, and enjoyed woodworking. A quilt rack and footstool he made for my family are among some of my most treasured possessions. But there was another layer to my Uncle Jack that I rarely got to see.

While working on a presentation for a client using Beatles song titles to make the key points, I came across an interesting musical term: Deceptive Cadence. Musically defined, it refers to a cadence (chord sequence) in which the dominant resolves to a harmony rather than the tonic. You can hear it on such Beatles songs as A Day In The Life, Ticket To Ride, and We Can Work It Out. You can also hear an example of a chord progression with deceptive cadence by clicking here.

Yesterday was one of those unusually memorable days in my 20+ year career as an author and professional speaker. A company had invited me to speak to their directors and assistant directors at their annual meeting... in Maui! If you have followed me for any length of time, you know I love to travel and see new places. I also love hearing about the travel experiences of others. I had never been to Maui, and I had heard so many positive things about the island.

A few weeks ago I asked my oldest daughter, who is a sophomore at college, what percent of students does she see when she is walking across campus who are engaging with an electronic device. She quickly replied, “At least 85 percent.” Wow!

In our activity-obsessed culture, the idea of doing nothing is not considered a positive thing to do. Oh we talk about relaxing and disengaging, but even those moments of idleness are incessantly interrupted by the ding, chirp, or ring of an electronic device. The tide is changing, however, and there is now mounting evidence that we need these moments of what I call "sacred idleness. Forbes had an excellent article on the subject just a few months ago.  I've taught the general benefits of taking an "intermission" in my work life balance training for several years, and am always looking for more neurologically-based facts to support the value of doing nothing.

Mohamed El-Erian was a man who seemed to have it all. As CEO of the investment firm, Pimco, he made millions of dollars per year (100 million actually). He also had a supportive family... or so he thought.

Last January, while arguing with his 10 year old daughter about brushing her teeth, she handed him a list of 22 special moments El-Erian had missed since the beginning of the school year. The events ranged from a Halloween parade to her first soccer match. At first El-Erian defended the absences, but then he realized that his lack of work-life balance was hurting his relationship with his daughter. So... he did something about it... he resigned. El-Erian opted for a number of part-time jobs that would allow him to spend more time with his family, especially his daughter. You can read his insightful resignation letter here.

At the 2004 Olympics in Athens, USA rifle shooter Matt Emmons was poised to win his second gold medal. He had one shot left, and only needed a score of 7.3. The lowest score on his last nine shots was 9.3, so the gold was certainly to be in his hands soon. Sure enough, Emmons took the shot, and hit a bullseye... on the wrong target. He was awarded 0 points and finished fourth in this particular competition.