Seven Work Life Reminders From My Daughter’s Senior Trip
In May, the Loflin family (minus one) headed to Hawaii. The occasion was to celebrate the upcoming high school graduation of our younger daughter Sydney. My wife Lisa and I made the decision many years ago that when our girls were nearing their graduation date we wanted to take them on a senior trip. We have three goals for the journey:
To celebrate their accomplishment
To go to a unique destination
To have a significant block of uninterrupted time with them before they take the next step in their life journey
While I was physically away from work, I continued to have my “work life success” radar up much of the time. There were so many moments that reminded me how the small choices we make can influence the level of joy and fulfillment we get from each day… whether we are at work or on vacation. So here are my notes from a trip I will never forget, and the work life reminders I can’t afford to either:
1) Living without a clock is a beautiful thing.
Some of our days required absolutely no concern for what time it was. At first I felt lost. I kept thinking, “Don’t I need to be thinking about what’s next?” Once I got comfortable with it, however, it was wonderful. I was completely present in the moment, enjoying time with my family and taking in everything around me. I often wonder what it would feel like to live in a time when we weren’t so time conscious, but I’m not sure how far back I’d have to go. Around 200 BC a Roman dramatist named Plautus is quoted as saying, “The gods confound the man who first found out how to distinguish the hours… confound him too who in this place set up a sundial to cut and hack my days so wretchedly into small pieces.” Oh if only my days were paced by a sundial!
Reminder: Lose myself in the present more often.
2) Don’t intentionally add a mental cloud to a beautiful day.
I’m very disciplined about checking my email at certain times during my workday. I’ve wasted way too much time over the years randomly checking it and then inefficiently responding to them on my phone or when I wasn’t in a mental state to give an effective reply. My plan in Hawaii was to check it once in the morning, respond as needed and be done. One day I slipped and checked it while waiting for Lisa and Sydney. Big mistake. There were a couple of items that needed my attention. The reality was that they could have waited until the next morning, but I couldn’t unsee them now. Thoughts about how I would respond to them kept infringing on my ability to fully enjoy the moment, hanging like clouds on an otherwise beautiful day.
Reminder: Honor the boundaries I set each day so I don’t limit my ability to be in the present.
3) Live out your purpose instead of trying to copy others.
While in Maui, we went to Komoda Store and Bakery on the island of Maui. Here’s a picture of the storefront. Exciting right? They don’t even have their name on the front!
Now take a look at one of the display cases inside…
Thinking a little differently about this place now?
For over 100 years they have been making delicious items like stick doughnuts and guava malasadas, along with homemade rolls that are addictive. With the quality of their products they could have easily expanded all across Hawaii and beyond. But they have chosen NOT to. Intentionally staying the size they are now. Even though I have clarity about my purpose and goals in life, I can sometimes feel myself wanting to be a version of myself that isn’t aligned with my values.
Reminder: Always make choices in alignment with my values and not based on someone else’s definition of what success looks like.
4) Have a plan but hold it loosely enough to allow for the unexpected.
When planning the trip, Lisa gave me the goal of creating an itinerary that allowed for seeing some things while also having time just to be (i.e. relax and rest) and had flexibility. It was a difficult challenge when you’re in a place like Hawaii with so much to experience. My Type A travel personality kept thinking, “We have to do it all!!!”
What I found interesting was that I had to plan MORE to achieve this goal than if I just filled up the day with activities. I had to think about allowing extra time if we visited a place we really liked, and how I would change my planned itinerary if we all woke up and said, “Let’s just stay at the beach today.”
Reminder: Always plan my day to allow for the unexpected and have a plan for how to best use free time that might show up.
5) Stop trying to do what everyone else is doing.
When some people found out we were going to Hawaii, they made it their personal mission to tell us EVERYWHERE we needed to visit while there. As I continued to compile the list of potential places to experience I felt that familiar stress rising within me as I thought, “There’s no way we can get to all these places.” What brought my blood pressure back down was asking myself, “What do my family and I want from this trip?” and then choosing the activities that would most align with those goals.
Reminder: Build the life I want, not the version someone else thinks I should have.
6) Be grateful.
I’ll never forget the first time I visited Pearl Harbor and the USS Arizona Memorial in 1987. To be honest, I cried. And each time I have been there since I have shed a tear or two. It’s such an incredibly moving experience to think about the lives lost and all those throughout history who have sacrificed to ensure I can have the life I have… and that my daughters will have the same opportunity. Closer to home I reflect on all the people who have poured into my life and how I sometimes neglect to tell them of their impact. For some it’s too late, but for others I still have a chance.
Reminder: Express gratitude every chance I get.
7) Take pictures to spark a memory… not to BE the memory.
I wonder if people know how ridiculous they look trying to get the perfect picture? Whether it’s the couple struggling for a social media selfie or a family seeking to get their three children to be still long enough to make the shot, I see them ruining the joy of the moment. When they look at the photo in the future they are going to remember the frustration to get the picture more than the joy of being in that place (not that I am speaking from experience, mind you).
Reminder: Trying to create a perfect life can hinder me from experiencing the joy offered by every moment.
And the biggest reminder was, of course, that life passes by too quickly.
As you travel this summer and have thoughts like mine, I’d love to hear them. Send me an email… and if there’s a picture, send that too!
Sunset at Haleakala National Park
