What Don't You Want to Miss? A Priorities Lesson From A Sexagenarian
The Key Point
It's easy to spend our days on what's urgent and miss the moments that only happen once. In this post, I'll share the simple practice I've used for nearly 20 years to stay focused on what matters most: a "What I Don't Want to Miss" list, plus three ways to create your own.
Living with fewer regrets starts with knowing what you don't want to miss.
The question I ask at every milestone
I turned 60 this month. Like any milestone birthday, it has me thinking about what matters most, what I've accomplished, and what's still left to do.
But one question keeps rising above the rest: What do I not want to miss in this next season of my life?
After more than 30 years as a keynote speaker and author helping people manage their time and priorities, I've learned that the most important choices we make aren't about getting more done. They're about making sure we don't miss what can only happen now.
Living with no regrets begins with a list
Many years ago, I set a goal to live life with no regrets. Do I have a few? Of course. But I've worked hard to focus on what's important for me to do in this season of life, the things I'll never get the chance to do again.
One idea from a book I read long ago changed how I pursue that goal. At each stage of life, create a "What I Don't Want to Miss" list to keep you focused and grounded in the right things.
I started keeping one almost 20 years ago. It has been transformative. It helps me put my time and energy toward what I can only do now, instead of letting the urgent crowd out the important.
3 steps to create your own "What I Don't Want to Miss" list
1. Begin with people
List the family members, close friends, and colleagues who matter most to you. I also list work commitments, like certain speaking engagements, because there are moments in those I don't want to miss either. Write down every person and priority that's truly important to you.
2. Be specific about the moments
Vague intentions are easy to skip.
Specific ones stick. When my daughters were growing up, my list included tucking them in every night I'm home. For my wife, Lisa, it's taking our 30-minute walk each day. For some close friends, it's snapping a photo of something that reminds me of them when I travel and sending it their way.
Name the exact opportunity, and you're far more likely to protect it.
3. Review it often
A list you never look at cannot guide your choices. I review mine around the first of every month. I check that it's current, and when my season of life shifts, I update it.
The big idea: some opportunities only exist now
There are always things happening that, if we don't take advantage of them now, we'll miss. And we won't get another chance to engage in them. That's a regret I'm determined to minimize in my life.
So here's my challenge to you. Whether you're turning 30, 45, or 60, take 15 minutes this week and answer one question: What do you not want to miss in this season of your life?
